9 Workplace Collaboration Tips, By Introverts for Extraverts

Introverts aren’t known for their love of collaborative projects, and that’s because they feel most at home when working independently or with a carefully chosen partner they feel comfortable with. But that doesn’t mean Introverts can’t thrive in new collaborations. When done right, an Introvert-Extravert team-up can bring a refreshing blend of perspectives to projects which would otherwise remain undiscovered. 

The key to making an Introvert feel at home in teamwork is more straightforward than you’d expect. If you’re an Extravert who wants some advice on how to collaborate with an Introvert without making them feel uncomfortable, left out or unheard, here are some simple guidelines to follow.

1. Start with an icebreaker.

Instead of getting straight to work, get to know a bit about the person you’re working with. If you’ve never worked closely together, your introverted cohort will feel uncomfortable in this uncharted space. Don’t dive into small talk if you can help it, though — Extraverts don’t like small talk either, but most Introverts dislike it intensely.

Instead, look for a way to talk about the Introvert’s deeper self through their work. How do they envision this project? Why did they get into this field in the first place? What’s their ultimate career goal? 

An easy ice breaker — whether it’s going out to happy hour together or bonding over a shared love for your field —  will make your Introverted coworker feel more comfortable working with you.

2. Give the Introvert time to think before they respond.

When undertaking a workplace project with an introverted partner, you might feel put off by their slow responses. Introverts aren’t trying to be difficult — they need more time to formulate answers and think before they speak. As a rule, their replies take longer than their extraverted counterparts. A pet peeve of any Introvert is feeling rushed or like someone is being impatient with their tendency to think and speak more slowly. 

3. Don’t automatically take the lead. 

Extraverts have a habit of seizing the day, which means they often seize control. This isn’t a bad thing — it’s a natural disposition for some Extraverts and a major strength. But the take-charge approach can make an Introvert feel thwarted and unheard, and this isn’t something you want to happen. If an Introvert feels useless or alienated, they won’t give the collaboration their all. 

Introverts want equal input on a project they’re working on, so it’s best to approach leadership together. Ask the Introvert how they’d like to split the work and delegate tasks. They’ll be happy to communicate a plan, and you’ll likely be the person giving any presentation to your boss anyway.   

4. While working, give them space when needed.

When it becomes clear an Introvert is working on their portion of the project, they may work better if you leave them to it. Focus on your task at hand instead of trying to continue the conversation. Introverts work best in a low-stimulation environment, and minimal talking while they’re hard at work will make them feel at ease. 

5. Don’t talk so much that they cannot discuss their opinions. 

Introverts aren’t ones to assert their opinions right away, especially when they’re working alongside an Extravert. That’s not because Introverts don’t have their own views or are afraid to voice them — this stems back to their need for more thought before speaking. 

On that note, an Introvert’s thoughts can get lost when an Extravert talks over them. Give them time to give their input. Better yet, ask for their input once and a while.

6. Don’t make assumptions and communicate.

Whenever you feel like you’re judging an introverted coworker in some way, stop to think about it. Remember Introverts are wired differently than Extraverts, so they may not give you as many body language cues or easy-to-read facial expressions. 

If you have any confusion about their meaning or attitude, an Introvert would rather someone ask them outright what they’re feeling or thinking than make false assumptions about their character. If you give them a chance to explain how they work, you’ll be on a better path for future communication. 

7. Try to create mutual understanding.

As an Introvert myself, when I’m in a setting with extraverted strangers, I explain that I’m an Introvert and I might not talk quite as much as I listen. In some cases, this seems to set people at ease and create an unspoken understanding. They can see I’m present and connecting. But I have to be comfortable to continue to make that connection. 

In other cases, people who are unwilling to understand the difference remain ignorant of what it means, and don’t offer me ways into the conversation. Remember, Introverts aren’t the best at starting conversations, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk! When they feel purposely left out or like others think they’re strange for not piping in, it makes them feel all the more awkward.

As you’re the Extravert in this situation, try your best to understand where the Introvert is coming from. Lead with an open mind. Give your introverted coworker the opportunity to explain how they tick and don’t push them to be someone they’re not. Ask them what their workplace trigger is and avoid overstepping boundaries.

8. Realize small disagreements and miscommunications as a part of the learning process.

Workplace collaboration isn’t always a walk in the park, and it comes with unique challenges when you throw an Introvert and an Extravert together. That said, you can both learn to grow together if you both accept that disagreements on the job will crop up because of your personality types. 

Don’t let small misunderstandings get in the way of creating great work together. Instead, take these disagreements as learning experiences. Communicate why a disagreement occurred and how you can both change going forward — communication is important in the workplace, whether you’re working with fellow Extraverts or an Introvert.

9. Don’t force an Introvert to share. They’ll do so when they’re comfortable. 

My number one Introvert pet peeve is when an Extravert tries to make me share more than I’m willing to. Sometimes Extraverts appear distressed when an introverted person shuts down or appears to close off when a specific subject arises. The best thing you can do in this situation is to let the topic go.

It’s sort of comical to me, at times, when I take inventory of my conversation style. I might not be an open book when I meet new people, but in my head, I feel like I share more than enough. Extraverts must learn that an Introvert needs more time to divulge information about their lives or even how they feel about their collaboration. Pushing them to converse isn’t going to work, as this will make them more awkward around you because they see it as a breach of boundaries. 

Closing thoughts for a successful workplace collaboration

Extraverts can learn to work alongside Introverts in a collaborative project, and getting over the discomfort doesn’t have to be a long process if you follow these tips. What Introverts need from Extraverts is mutual respect and a willingness to accept that they’re wired differently. 

Open communication is key, but you must also accept that an Introvert isn’t an open book and won’t share everything they think — they might take some time to open up about how they’re feeling about the project or your collaboration style. Once you both feel more relaxed in each other’s presence, you can focus on the work at hand and create something you’re both proud of.