17 Cringe-free Networking Tips for Introverts
Networking can help you grow your career, learn and connect with others who might mentor you — but it's daunting for Introverts who struggle with putting themselves out there and getting a conversation started.
At the same time, Introverts are often the best networkers because they're good listeners and tend to be more thoughtful and selective in their conversations.
With that in mind, here are 17 tips that can help you break out of your shell and make valuable connections authentically, in ways that take all your introverted strengths into account.
1. Aim for one-on-one encounters
Introverts do best in small groups and one-on-one scenarios so try to keep the conversation intimate. Even if you're networking at a large conference, don’t be afraid to excuse yourself from a group. Ask the person you’re chatting to if they’d like a quick one-on-one chat or to move to a less crowded area.
2. Ask a co-worker or boss to be your wingman
A co-worker or boss might be more than happy to introduce you to people you should know, and this can take some of the pressure off of feeling the need to introduce yourself solo. You may also consider bringing a plus-one to engage in the buddy system. Introverts always feel less alone if they have someone they’re comfortable with beside them.
3. Pay attention to your body language
Here we go again with the body language, you’re probably thinking. But it’s true — Introverts aren’t the best at appearing open in their body language. The minute you’re feeling uncomfortable or nervous or reaching for your smartphone, take a second to think about how you’re presenting yourself. A smile and open, confident posture go a long way and can help others feel more comfortable engaging with you.
4. Seek a deeper connection early on, but don’t overdo it
You can skip the small talk in a roundabout way. Ask about someone’s family or children, or search for a common interest. Your conversation will soon feel warmer and less contrived if you're both passionate about something. Find avenues in the discussion that lead to a more personal tone, but remember your boundaries.
5. Let your passion guide you
Similar to diving into more profound subjects, let your passion be your guide at networking events. Stop thinking about what networking means for your career, and consider what you love about what you do. Take your passionate energy and share it with others. When you’re talking with someone new, try to connect over your love for your industry — this can instantly endear someone to you if they share the same passion.
6. Ask for email or online contacts to follow up
Introverts don’t always want an in-person connection right away, so instead of forcing it, ask people for their email or social media accounts, or ask if it’s okay if you communicate via text to start. They likely will say yes, and you can continue building on your conversation with the safety net of a screen between you.
7. Think of people as individuals, not cogs in the machine
Viewing people you meet as a “CEO,” “boss” or “rival” is easy. But instead of defining people based on their job title, think of the people you meet as individuals. Separating their job from their physical self may help you feel less intimidated and more open. Try to get to know who they are and how they tick.
8. Looking for warm introduction opportunities
Networking isn’t supposed to be every man for himself. Many people enjoy sharing their connections with others, so it isn’t unusual for someone to want to introduce you to the right people. Ask someone you're already speaking to if they can introduce you to someone else you should meet, and enjoy the snowball effect of having others help you network.
9. Embrace your unique self and authenticity
Most Introverts feel they need to pretend to be outgoing to fit in. Flip this way of thinking and embrace your authentic self. People at networking events don’t want to meet people putting on masks. In most cases, people desire to find someone who is unashamedly themself. This genuine attitude can go a long way.
10. Be selective
Many networking opportunities involve large parties or outings. But you don’t have to say “yes” to every event that comes your way. Stop feeling pressured to attend everything and get selective about which events to attend. Pick those that will do you the most good, such as smaller, more intimate opportunities to avoid burnout.
11. Network with other Introverts
You’re an Introvert, so you should have a knack for spotting what other Introverts look like. If you see someone who appears to be more of a listener, that’s a good tip-off. You might also catch some people staying in a set group or making solo trips to the bathroom or bar. Keep your feelers out for other introverted types and try your hand at conversing with them. Introverts generally get along well with other Introverts, and you might bond over how you navigate these events differently than extraverts.
12. Set a personal goal, but don’t overthink it
Don’t overthink the importance of a networking event. Instead, set a personal goal before you go. This might be a goal to talk to a specific person or group or simply to come out of your shell more. Achieving your goal will feel good. Then, you can relax for the rest of the night, leave early or find a quiet spot to enjoy a drink alone.
13. Approach networking like you’re searching for a new friend, not engaging in something transactional
Networking doesn’t have to (and shouldn’t) feel transactional. Instead of thinking about what a person can do for your career, approach them like you’re interviewing new friends. You might end up finding some surprising connections.
14. Create a networking event so you have control as the host
Step outside of your comfort zone and create your own networking event. Choose something that makes you feel at ease, like a "paint and sip" or a dinner party, and keep the setting intimate. Tag team the planning with a trusted co-worker or friend. Odds are, you’ll have a memorable night and feel less stressed about “networking” and proud for forging a new path to networking.
15. Make a list of icebreakers
If all else fails, you can create a list of icebreakers ahead of an event so you’ll already know how to start some conversations. This will challenge your habit of not starting a conversation. Once you rip the bandaid off, it isn’t so bad. Prepare ahead; you won’t have to worry about what to say next.
16. Focus on active listening rather than selling yourself
People love to talk about themselves, and good listeners aren’t always easy to find. Play up your skill as an active listener. Listening well will take some pressure off the need to converse (and keep you out of the spotlight), and people will feel heard when speaking with you. This approach will also keep you feeling grounded rather than feeling like you need to “sell” yourself. Actively listening is a great team-building exercise, and your listening style might help you connect with others more quickly than people who talk a lot.
17. Excuse yourself if you’re feeling drained.
Last but not least, remember that you need to take care of your energy levels — and it isn’t a crime to excuse yourself from a conversation to take a quick break. Taking five to 10-minute me-time intervals throughout the night can help you boost your social energy levels. Also, don’t feel bad if you leave an event early. Your departure isn’t going to ruin anyone’s night.
Network on your terms
Networking is necessary, no matter what job field you’re in. But remember, if you’re an Introvert who feels stuck in a job that isn’t compatible with your nature, you might want to consider changing careers. (For ideas, these best jobs for Introverts may be a good place to start).
If you love your job but need guidance for the next big networking event, try any of the above tips to win at networking. You can quietly succeed at work and networking with the proper preparation and mindset.
